Pre2019Season

FRC 1721 - Joe S

Focus on our stuff.
Let’s focus on on The most important part of our routine is the entrance.
Yes, absolutely.
Bam! Frank, what the hell are you doing man? That’s my character, I’m the Trash Man.
I come out, I throw trash all over all over the ring And then, I start eating garbage.
And then I pick up the trash can And I, smash the guy on the head.
Oh That’s gonna be a disaster.
No, no, nobody’s gonna get hurt.
I’m telling you, like you said It’s all fake.
But it has nothing to do with the troops, Frank.
A sixty year old man eating trash, who wants to see that? Nah, but that’s what people want.
Hey I got something for you.
I got a character for you.
You can be The ref.
I’m not gonna be the ref.
I’m a villain, don’t you see? Pick up the garbage and then I uh.
Frank.
Just nasty dude! Are you choking? Oh my gosh! No, throw it up in the bathroom.
Get out of here.
Go take a break.
Go take a break.
The troops are going to be very happy to see that.
Alright, let’s get this Let’s, let’s Let’s get back to it Just Charlie.
So we’re talking about the entrances okay? Yeah, we got a good idea.
Okay.
We got a good idea.
Alright now, they are going to announce our name: Birds of War.
Oh, I loved that name.
I love it.
And yeah, maybe we’ll do an eagle screech.
.
Screeching That’ll be great.
And then we’ll start out.
.
We’ll come out of the tunnel, we’ll start out.
We’re gonna write this great song.
It’s gonna be how bad ass we are.
You know what I mean.
It’s all about the About how we soar through the air, how we live in a nest top.
How we like to protect our eggs from predators.
And our young, we regurgitate to our All the Actually, can I stop you guys for one second? Because what you just described, Nah, it seems like we’re just singing About the life style of an eagle.
Yeah.
Okay, well I was under the impression that we were presenting ourselves as bird men.
Which, to me Is infinitely cooler than just sorta being a bird.
No No No It’s good We can meet in the middle thou We can maybe Maybe It’s just already the middle That’s all I ask, that’s all I ask I want people to be able to see that we’re not just birds.
Thanks you for stepping in as Desert Rose.
Uh, no problem.
I dated a lot of disable men in my past, so I enjoyed the power.
Okay Why aren’t you wearing red? I was very specific about that.
I don’t’ do red.
Well, you look like a grape.
Fine, then I’ll be Desert Grape.
No, he wasn’t talking to Desert Grape, He was talking to Desert Rose, it’s very specific and Alright, you know what, alright, this is what we’ll do, just put this here.
Oh, you’re sweaty.
Oh, Okay.
It’s humid outside.
So uh, which one is he? Right behind you in yellow.
Ah, mama like Cute, right? Hey, did he send you any dick pics.
Because it could be a mess down there.
For the love of god, please don’t ask him about his dick.
Okay, have it your way, I’ll figure it out soon enough.
And away we go.
Oh, she looks ridiculous.
Desert Rose? Hi What What the hell? Oh, it feels so good to finally hold you.
Oh you You’re You’re biting my lips.
Hi, oh.
What a coincidence.
Hey oh, you’re the girl from the bus stop.
Yes, I am.
Well, you guys are friends right? Mmm hmm, not really.
Tell your friend, thank you for the shorts.
They fit great.
Yeah? Yeah, will do.
So, what’s What’s the deal with you standing? I thought there was a wheelchair and you were in it.
Oh no, no I I twisted my knee getting of a plane in Germany.
I’m uh.
I was just trying to stay off of it.
Mmm, it’s good now, you see? Yes it is.
Can I talk to you for a sec? I’ll be back.
What is it? What, what? I changed my mind, so move out of the way so I can swoop in.
Nah Uh No chang-ies.
What? Artemis, I’m warning you, if you don’t get out of the way right now.
I’m going to bring out the big guns.
Oh, hit me with your best shot you stupid bitch! I was looking around, I was thinking I I brought some You just I’m sorry for that.
You just I just props I thought I was bringing.
That is not a prop though, that’s sharp razor wires.
Mr.
Manic, we were thinking that maybe we could go a little more traditional with it.
You know just, figure 4 leg lock, pile driver Hey, off the top suplex Oh, no no People, that old school bullshit That, that don’t play no more you know.
Really? Yeah, it’s gotta be gruesome, you know? Those people, they like blood you know and Yes, well guys like you You know what, I love you guys man You know, you remind me of my kids Oh, you got kids Maniac? Nah, not anymore.
What does that mean? Okay, alright We got a problem I don’t know What what was he talking about with his kids? Did he killed his kids? He just Drifted away and uh Look at it, look at this, I feel like he’s living out of his car right? I mean he’s got blankets in there.
What is that? A pile of laundry Look at this dude, that’s just a bucket of chestnuts.
What, is he just foraging for his food? I don’t know why the hell would you have a bucket of chestnuts, bro? We are dealing with a legitimate maniac now.
That is clear to me, his mania is not confined to the ring.
No, he kept calling you the N word earlier.
Yea, I didn’t, I wasn’t gonna bring that up, I don’t’ want to freak him out.
Me? Yes, Yes.
He was calling me the N word.
Every time you turned your back.
He’s like you stupid N, go get me grease.
And this and that.
Why? I don’t’ know, did he say why? He has a problem with Black people and he likes to Why does he have a problem with me? I mean I don’t understand.
Both, I think Oh my god, okay.
Let’s get rid of him.
Let’s get rid of him, thats it.
How you get rid of a guy like that? I don’t want to be anywhere in the ring with that guy.
You know what? What if we were just hype men? We don’t even go in the ring.
Yes, we let him do the wrestling.
We do not wrestle? No.
Alright, we gotta find someone for him to wrestle though.
Right right.
Okay.
Someone who has like You know nothing to lose, right? Cricket.
That’s out Cricket.
Yeah.
Cricket.
No.
What do you want? What do you want from me? We want you to wrestle at a wrestling match that we’re gonna throw.
No, how about that? I’m not gonna participate in your little games and schemes.
Cricket, how about this? It’s for the troops.
I don’t give a shit about the troops.
We’ll gonna pay you, bro.
That’s pay involved.
Oh, you should have thought about that, Cricket.
You paying? Oh, yea man.
Oh I see, so what, am I gonna get my ass kick? It’s wrestling, it’s all fake.
It’s relatively fake.
What happens in the ring, happens in the ring, Cricket.
It’s really up to you.
I don’t feel we’re reading as eagles.
No bro, we look like assholes.
It didn’t turn out the way I had envisioned.
I’m getting more of a chicken vibe.
What in gods name is this about? Alright, alright, don’t start We’re Bird Man, we’re Birds Of War.
Bird-Men? What do you want? What do you want? Okay uh, I wanna sing the star spangle banner before the match.
Yeah, good sing.
We don’t’ care.
Do whatever you want.
Just get away.
We obviously in the middle of something.
Get away.
Get away.
Yeah.
Get outta here! Whoa, whoa, wait a sec, do that again.
That? That looks pretty cool.
Maybe we can go with the chicken thing.
Ah, no no, we’re not going with the chicken The chicken boys! We’re not changing the songs.
Got big problems with The Maniac! Big problem with The Maniac.
Oh, what the hell did he do? Did he kill somebody? Unpaid parking tickets.
Unpaid parking tickets? Manic.
Oh my boy.
My boys.
Wait wait wait wait wait You know what, The Manic loves you.
Even with your Wait, wait.
Even with your f I love you.
We love you too, man.
Poor guy.
I don’t love him.
I don’t love him at all You guys need a wrestler now.
We should take The Trash Man out of retirement.
That is not gonna happen, Frank.
He’s right, we do need a wrestler.
I know.
Guys, I’m thinking that maybe we should do it.
Yeah.
Right? We got the costumes, we got the passion! We are just Battling Cricket.
Just Cricket.
Alright, Pigeon Boys! Let’s do this! No, we’re not the Pigeon Boys.
Birds of War.
Chicken Boys! Are we sticking with the Eagles.
Yes, we’re Birds of War.
Let’s just go with Bird.
We don’t’ even look like eagles.
What kind of bird would we be? And now, the moment you all been waiting for.
Introducing America’s most hated terrorist.
The Taliban.
America sucks! The terrorists rule.
Ah la la la! Ladies and gentlemen, get ready to take flight with The Birds of War.
What’s up America.
Hey troops! Hi guys! Drop a beat for us.
You ready? Go! Clap! So so Clap! So clap! The eagles are out of It flies through the night Don’t you mess with it’s heads now.
Or you’ll see a fight.
Yes, we have feathers, ah! But the muscles are man.
Ahh ahhh ah, cos we’re Birds of War now! But we’re also mans! Birds of War! They are not responding to the pageantry at all.
The new second verse is completely ridiculous.
The second verse is necessary to clarify Clarify what we are.
We’re Mic, we’re Mic-ed.
The microphones are on.
Are they hearing us? Do the routine.
Go! The crow thing, the crow thing No no cut it, cut it.
Not that one, I’m not doing that one.
Flip the tape over, the other song.
This one goes out to a very special soldier.
A Soldier of Fortune.
I’m your real Desert Rose.
That strange woman you been hanging out with.
She’s an impostor.
Baby Yeah, bitch! She is a slut! You, you broke my nose.
Yea Taliban! Ah la la la! So, what do we do? What do we? I think it started.
Go go ahead.
Jump in the ring and fight Cricket.
I’m going, I’m going to get a little rough with you, okay? Oh, what is that? Sand? Oh, Jesus Christ.
Oh come on ref.
Is that even legal? I didn’t see nothing.
Yo, Cricket gone crazy man.
Shit, we can’t let the Taliban win.
Alright, alright I got it.
Alright Cricket, you son of a bitch, you think you’re so tough huh? Stop throwing sand! Stop! Come on, bitch! You want some? I feel like if I come in there You’re just gonna throw sand in my eyes, so I’m gonna run away.
America sucks! Terrorist rules! Yay! Stop, you got me.
The Trash Man! Oh shit, are you okay Cricket? I must had an itch.
I knew this shit wasn’t fake